Avoiding the Comparison Trap
It’s May, and we are nearing the end of our school year! This time of year is known to simultaneously fill the hearts of homeschool moms with excitement and fear. If you find yourself thinking every year at this time that you should revamp your curriculum choices, rearrange your school schedule, start earlier, try a new co-op, work HARDER....I just want to take a moment to invite you to STOP.
I often hear moms at this time of year stressing out that they (or their children) are not doing “enough”. It’s tempting, when visiting with our friends, to begin to make comparisons about our homeschools, our children, our homemaking abilities, not to mention our fashion sense, our hairstyle, or the size of our jeans.
There is an old adage that “comparison is the thief of joy”, so why do we do it? We can’t seem to help
ourselves, and in the age of social media, it’s even harder to avoid holding our lives up to the mirror of
others’ seemingly perfect lives. When we begin to look too closely at others’ homeschools, it can create jealousy and fear. Am I doing this homeschool thing right at all? Should I be teaching my kids Latin? Are they reading enough classic novels? Why don’t my kids’ handwriting samples look like THAT?
When you are struggling with these feelings, beware the Comparison Trap! The Comparison Trap will steal the joy from your homeschool, for both you and you children. So, what’s a mom (or dad) to do?
First, I invite you to just stop. Take a breath. Make a nice cup of coffee, and try to remember your “why”. Why are you homeschooling your children? What is it that your family is creating for yourselves through this experience? Remember that we choose to homeschool our kids so that we can have the absolute joy of crafting an individualized education for them, enabling them to learn according to their God-given gifts and learning style. What is YOUR teaching style? What are your strengths? Where are you not as strong? Tap into the giftings that make you unique, and it will overflow as joy to your homeschool.
Of course, if something isn’t working for your family, it is smart to take inventory of that, and make a change if necessary. Nothing will bring tears of frustration faster than trying to force a kid to continue working with a curriculum that isn’t sparking a love of learning for them. And we do have our required hours and five main subjects that we are responsible for documenting each year. But beyond that?
Obviously, it’s OK to gain insight from trusted friends, and gain ideas for your own family, but remember, every family—and every child—is different, so every homeschool will be different as well.
Don’t judge yourself based on what someone else is doing. Keep your eyes on the big picture, and celebrate homeschooling with your kids in the way that fits them best!
